my unsolicited opinion.

an open letter to cyber monday…

Dear Crazy Internet Day:

I’m afeared.

Honestly, I was a little nervous even to open an Internet page to have to write this Blog post.  I was sure deals on electronics and toys and shoes would come shooting out at me from the screen, whizzing by like spells from a wizard’s wand or something.  I’m a little too overwhelmed at this moment to make any good, ya know, what are those called, metaphors.

Part of me wants to buy things.  Part of me can’t get the image out of my head of me the only time I ever went Black Friday shopping.  There I was: 8 or 9 years old….at a craft store (who goes to black friday at a craft store? Well, me and mom, I guess.  I know I bought a paper mache reindeer.  Weird, I know).  Basically, I just short of got trampled.  I’m not always good with crowds.  Sometimes I am easily overwhelmed.  I felt like if there was a camera shot overhead, you would have seen me as a child slowly sliding down into the swarm of craft ladies, terrified my hand would be ripped from my mother’s, clutching an unfinished Christmas decoration.

Really, that is not what I want to happen here.  I don’t want to be crushed by deals from the inernet.  I don’t want to be hiding in the corner, afraid my MacBook Pro lid will spring back up, possible presents like a jack-in-the-box springing forth.

Yikes.

And I get it.  For those brave enough, Black Friday and Cyber Monday are wonderful, useful, kick-Christmas-stress-in-the-gut kind of days.  Good job, consumers.  (I’m not actually sure if that sounds sarcastic or not, and furthermore, if I mean it as sarcastic or not.)

But here’s the thing I kinda have stuck in my craw.  It’s the Internet.  Is it just me, or is this where you go 365 days a year to find things on special?  Isn’t that why shopping in stores is down across the market anyway?  I mean, maybe that’s just me.

Really, there’s probably a whole part to this I’m missing.  However, I am still frightened.  Plus, at least two people have already told me today they were scammed by special Cyber Monday deals.  This is something my neurotic brain hadn’t even thought to be afraid of yet.  Does this happen?  I guess so.  People are scammed on the Internet during regular days too.  Do we become so obsessed in the specials offered the Monday after Thanksgiving that we forget to be careful and observant?

See?  Now aren’t you nervous too?  Aren’t you just about huddling yourself in a fetal position on the craft store floor with me now too?

Crowds, scams, or not, I think I’ll just stick to what works for me: obsessively searching the world wide web for what I want at the right price during my lunch hour and hours I’m supposed to be sleeping.

Merry Christmas.  Happy shopping.

With Trepidation,

Laura.