Le sigh. I’m starting to think something is wrong with me. Medically? Neurologically? Emotionally? I’m not sure.
I work 70 hours a week. And I work those 70 hours at two jobs that I wouldn’t say I dislike, but I would say provide little-to-no help toward my real passions in life. I’m not sure if this is the cause of the effect, but I am finding myself to be an remarkably boring person as of late. Something tragic has happened to me, but I’m unsure of what.
Here are my symptoms. Diagnose me:
1. I now have full-blown conversations about the weather and driving conditions in said weather. I get really into it, providing examples, specifics, and technical terms. I’m starting to notice whether or not the city is handling the situation appropriately.
2. I was prepared to comparison shop for a tow-truck. Legit, I was going to get a good price. I didn’t actually have to: went with what my faithful mechanic recommended and then I got a “you’re a pretty girl” discount. Bonus? Does this make me less boring?
3. After work on SATURDAY night I said: Uh, I’m just too tired to get drunk. I’m just going home. Who am I? I didn’t even want one drink? I didn’t even want to socialize? Can we get a parasitic blood test stat?
4. Two words, folks: LIBRARY SALE! Now, it’s never been a difficult thing to get me to go look at a “discard” book sale. I would single handedly pull a Jack London sled there. However, the next one is two weekends away, and I’m moving social appointments and creating a budget for it. Also, I am actually comparison-shopping for new bookcases. I’m taking my time about it. No one seems willing to give me a sturdy bookcase for cheap no matter how pretty I am. Whatever.
5. A man’s good-looks-to-good-personality-ratio has changed. Now, I’ve been aware this has been slowly happening for many years. Used to be, if he was hot enough, I could overlook a slight void of interest. That became less and less. Suddenly he has to be good looking and interesting? When am I asking for too much. I recently went on a date with a man who was can’t-look-away gorgeous… but then… he said ‘irregardless’ 33 times in 3 hours. That’s how bored I was: I counted. Golly. I didn’t think the brass ring was so high. No second date (for myriad reasons).
6. Phrases like this come from my mouth: Don’t you know what time it is? And, You should be wearing more clothes, you’ll get sick! Or, I am too tired for that much club. And the ever exciting, I hate to go to bed with a wet head. Basically, I’m scaring myself with my dialogue, and you might mistake me for your meemaw if you had your eyes closed.
So whaddaya think is wrong with me? Have I caught something terrible? Should I quit both jobs under mysterious medical leave? Am I just growing up? Is it all downhill from here? Terrifying.