Let’s take one moment where we don’t fake on the front. Because, yes, a significant amount of the time I am presenting falsely. And we’re being “real” for this moment, so don’t pretend like you don’t do the same. Most of us would not retain our employment. Imagine the service you’d receive if you didn’t apply manners. The friendship-with-total-honesty scenario is too sticky to ponder at this juncture.
However, I’ve been thinking about it. Sometimes I wish I could say what I mean. Sometimes I want to just say the real deal behind the faux furrow. These are the things I don’t say, but that I wish I could at least get across…
-You’re coming on too strong.
-I’m not actually sorry—I just don’t think you’re worth all the energy it would take to express my feelings/point to you. A sham of an apology is easier, please shut up.
-Jealousy is a rare feeling for me, but you do things that make me exceedingly jealous.
-I just…don’t feel anything for you. But I really feel terrible about hurting you—you don’t deserve that…but I’m just not going to be in love with you. Can we just leave it at that?
-Your support is meaningful to me.
-You are important to me.
-I want to be important to you.
-Don’t make me feel important if I’m not.
-I love you.
-I don’t know what I want.
-I have a thousand smiles. This is my smile that means, “I would punch you in the teeth if I weren’t such a classy lady.”