This morning I had a particular shirt in mind that I wanted to wear (navy blue silk button down with white dots), and realized it is at the dry cleaners. I thought, “Pshaw, this is the kind of thing that happens to adults, not me…wait…” Then I started thinking…uh oh… more than just my constant wearing of cardigans are making me an old lady. Symptoms include:
1) New contacts in my cell phone contacts list are entered by full name. No more nicknames. No more “Lauren S.” or “Tom B.” or person-plus-door-room-number (a very popular practice my Freshman year of college). And thankfully, no more “Guy From Bar X.” Nope: first name, last name, sometimes email. Every once in a while additional, pertinent info. Where has my creativity gone? Am I doomed to never again list someone in my cell phone as “Hot Runningback’?
2) I’m starting to sincerely question the decision most states make—including my very own Commonwealth of Pennsylvania—in giving out driving privileges (it’s a PRIVILEDGE, not a RIGHT!) to sixteen-year-olds. 98% of them make me very nervous.
3) Are people consistently having better looking babies? Because it sure seems that way.
4) I’m starting to do “preventative” things. On my 25th birthday I celebrated in grand fashion by beginning to use eye cream. I have moisturizer with sunscreen now, and I use it every day. If there is any sun at all, I wear sunglasses. I don’t do this because I think I look cool. And I don’t do it for the fashion, though I am admittedly a glutton for accessories. I do it for two reasons—1: apparently beautiful sunshine fades the color of your iris. I’m sorta fond of my blueish eyes. 2: like I said: eyecream. Diligent skincare. If I’m spending all this time and money preventing wrinkles and the look of again, what kind of sense does it make to go squinting into the sun, creating wrinkles. Like I don’t already get enough of that by laughing. One of ‘em gotta go. It’s not gonna be the laughing. Also—heart disease prevention. Realizing that I come from a family with spotty heart health history, I’m doing everything I can. There’s probably more to this story; that’s enough for now.
5) I have become very concerned with things like fuel mileage and tire pressure—I don’t understand them, I’m just concerned over them.
6) When I see kids around during the daytime on Monday through Friday I wonder why the heck they aren’t in school. (I did this a few times over the summer too, forgetting my calendar does not sync with a school girl or boy’s, but it’s more since fall started that I’m sure they should all be inhaling chalk dust.) I’m sure all teenagers are skipping. I’m highly suspicious of young people…err, well, people younger than I am.
7) Whenever someone mentions something about the 24th of any given month, my resounding thought it that’s the day I have to pay my credit cards and student loans.
8) I might be too old for techno. The very family-friendly, workplace-perfect Top 40 (featuring Ryan Seacrest in the afternoons) radio station we play in my office has, for surely unknown reasons, has been playing little blocks of techno around 3:30. I keep yelling, “What IS this?” and trying to crawl under my desk. My high school bf played techno constantly, and it never bothered me. However, he also just recently turned 28, while he is always eternally 17 in my head. So there’s that.
9) I like buying work clothes now. Yikes. At department stores. Double yikes.
10) I’m giving in on things that once felt absolute. I guess there’s wriggle room. This probably stems from two very new ways I’m living my life—1: sometimes the expenditure of energy to fight in not worth being right; pick your battles, don’t argue with fools who don’t matter to you much anyway. 2: life is never going to be the way you had it on paper—sometimes it’s worse, more often it’s better.